I’ve been working perpetually for the past several months on a god damned painting of Alice… I haven’t really been working but ít has been sitting on my wall quite gracefully. Anyhow, I’ve told so many people about it and they keep asking to see it but I refuse because I’m gayer than a sailor sucking a dick. But here I am thinking that I’ll show you the sketch and maybe in the next week or so I’ll post a pic of the painting… if it’s finished, which it probably won’t be for about a year because I’ve run out of paint… please mail me some acryllics to my P.O. box bitches.
Let me find a camera real quick to take a pic of this sketch… I don’t mean for you to wait on me but I figure since I have to go do this shit you may as well know about it.
For no apparent reason at all I’ve been doing a lot of research into all previous civilizations on Earth and I’m animating their movements and momentum across our globe. I started this idea with an idea of just messing around with flash so I can get a feel for it. It was this damn garbage here about:
world-empires.swf
It was just something I did fast and shitty for fun, but I began to like the idea quite a bit so i felt that I should make it more realistic. So I’ve been researching everything more in depth to make it as realistic as possible. However, this new one will take a while. I’m spending time doing a significant amount of research on each culture and making the whole thing not look so insanely shitty.
On the new one I’ve only begun with Sumer up the year 2000 BCE. Here is a list of the first ten I’m on:
| Sumer |
5300 BCE |
2000 BCE |
Mesopotamia |
| Indus Valley |
3500 BCE |
|
India |
| Egypt |
3200 BCE |
30 BCE |
Mediterranean |
| Nubia |
3200 BCE |
|
North Africa |
| Caral Supe |
3000 BCE |
2500 BCE |
Andes |
| Dilmun |
3000 BCE |
|
Persian Gulf |
| Elamite |
2700 BCE |
539 BCE |
Iran |
| Greece |
2600 BCE |
146 BCE |
Greece |
| Akkadian Empire |
2350 BCE |
2150 BCE |
Mesopotamia |
| Canaan |
2350 BCE |
100 CE |
Israel |
Hopefully it doesn’t take a year to finish… but for the time being I’m entertained so I guess nothing other than that matters.
Super Bowls often incite riots with the use of a few catalysts, primarily beer and ecstatic jubilation. So, if you are out and about on a Super Bowl Sunday it should be of primary concern for you to ensure your beer is on the way and secured safely. Tina Williams did it with such precision that it will make your head spin. Need proof? She was pulled over in St. Augustine, Florida on February 3rd and the police officer found her 24 pack of Busch Beer fastened securely in the seat with the safety belt.
Oddly enough she had forgotten her own safety belt. “No biggie,”she said to the officer, “I’m too drunk to feel anything should I get into an accident.”
The police officer smirked just a bit and retorted with, “Well that’s just fine ma’am, but what about your baby in the backseat? Is she drunk enough to justify not wearing a seatbelt as well?”
“Baby? What baby? Oh, I forgot my daughter was in the back.” Tina Williams replied.
Now I know what most of you are thinking, “How irresponsible!” Well if you ask me, Tina Williams totally had her priorities in order. The only mistake she was made was her God-awful taste in beer. Who the hell would go through that much trouble for fucking Busch Beer. That’s like driving a hundred miles to the nearest store, that happens to be next to a top-quality Italian restaurant, to eat a pack of Ramen Noodles.
One can only hope that next year’s Super Bowl brings more calamity and death of the babies by the dozen… or at the very least, a tasty beer or two.
